


Emergency Slurpee Run

by orphan_account



Series: Wish We Could Turn Back Time [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fluff, early days of RT, geoff wants death, gus wants a raise, let's say this takes place in like 2004, matt wants peace, sleepy babs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 12:17:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5967160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Geoff's going to strangle Burnie. Matt comes up with a solution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emergency Slurpee Run

**Author's Note:**

> don't fact check this there's too many podcasts for me to get technical

 

It's a quarter past three in the god damn morning and Geoff has somehow managed to lose feeling in both of his thumbs which is pretty fucking inconvenient considering they have _at least_ two more hours of work ahead of them. Burnie, the fucker, is snoring away on the leather ottoman under a pile of wrappers and soda bottles, blissfully ignorant to their ever growing workload. Geoff kicked him three times in hopes of getting some sign of life, but alas, Burnie Burns is officially dead to the god damn world.  

With each passing snore that echoes through Burnie's crappy little spare bedroom, Geoff can feel his blood pressure climb exponentially higher. And with Jason nowhere to be found and Gus stuck with the night shift at the shitty call center, dying of a heart attack is not an option if they want this episode to be uploaded anytime soon.  

It's been nearly a year into making this piece of shit show and Geoff still hasn’t figured out why exactly they picked Fridays for uploads considering, you know, they all work +40 hours a week (except for Joel, the acting piece of shit). Sunday is clearly the superior day. Burns would have more than two fucking days to punch out an episode. They could actually rehearse their lines for once. RvB wouldn't be a scramble to put out content just to satiate a hoard of angry 15 year olds typing away on the site's crowded forums. But no, their fearless leader decided on Fridays so they are all left to suffer for the rest of their foreseeable lives.  

Burnie lets out a particularly offensive snore, snapping Geoff out of his rage filled monologue and back to the task at hand. He has to flip the Warthog on to the base without killing the camera guy or pushing Donut off center, which means Geoff's alternating between three controllers, while simultaneously making sure that everything's being captured correctly. He nails the shot on the first try, but when he goes to headbob for the dialogue he accidentally fires, resulting in an explosion big enough to knock both Donut and the camera guy off the base.  

The consequential string of curses must be loud enough hear through walls because Matt appears out of fucking thin air with a pair of keys and Geoff's coat.  

"Come on" he pulls Geoff out of his slumped position on the couch, taking care not to step over Burnie's mountain of Fatness.  

"But the epis-" Geoff tries to protest (he really tries, scouts honor) but Matt's grip on his forearm is unyielding and before he knows it, Geoff's in the passenger seat of Burnie's truck en route to the local 7/11.   

Matt rambles about some football game Geoff couldn't have been bothered to watch, but it's comforting to not have to use his brain (or abused thumbs) for a few moments. He lets his eyes close somewhere around the halftime score, and is startled awake by Matt cutting the engine.  

"Did I just fall asleep?" Geoff asks groggily, eyes squinting at the painfully fluorescent 7/11 sign. Matt just smirks, and holds the door open for him. The shop is empty except for an exhausted teenager behind the cash register and a mildly concerning biker whose currently flipping through the pages of People Magazine.  

Matt guides him to the Slurpee station and sets about collecting enough Frozen Cokes to power the city of Austin as Geoff tries to get a better look at the biker's reading selection. Geoff nearly falls flat on his ass in an attempt to peer around the pringles display, but actual Saint Hullum catches his arm just before he tumbles.  

"Jeez" Matt laughs as he struggles to hold four Big Gulp™ Slurpees in his trembling grip. Geoff snatches one of those styrofoam cup holders, and through the power of teamwork, they manage to make it to the register without incident. Geoff reaches for his wallet, but is stopped by Matt who all but chucks his credit card towards the scrawny, no doubt sleep-deprived kid behind the counter.  

"It's on me bud" Matt claps him on the shoulder, and that's that. Geoff shrugs, reaching out to grab one of the liquid diabetes. They walk back to the truck in a comfortable silence, and Matt continues to talk about the Very Exciting Football Game for the entirety of the ride back.  

They're greeted by a confused Burnie who graciously accepts the Slurpee before bitching at them to get back to work. It's a group effort to get the shots filmed, with Burnie managing to kill Donut a record-breaking 17 times before their satisfied with the scene. It's well after five and Geoff is sure he can hear birds beginning to chirp outside but their efforts result in as close to a cinematic masterpiece RvB is going to get being filmed on an Xbox.  

Burnie is back to snoring the second the control hits the table, but Geoff can't be mad, what with his own eyes starting to droop. He lays back across the couch, opting to use Burnie's shoulder as an impromptu pillow.  

He exhales deeply, exhaustion seeping through his bones as the sugar rush of give or take a gallon of Coca Cola begins to wear off. He idly wonders what marathon of bullshit Burnie has in store for them tomorrow, and then suddenly feels like he's going to fucking vomit when he realizes they still have to send out _all_ of California's DVDs. On that note, Geoff promptly shuts his brain off and focuses on getting his breathing in time with Burnie's rumbling snores.  

He's on the cusp of sleep when Gus explodes into the room screaming about bandwidth and the Wall Street Journal. He figures that Matt can handle it, and shifts so he can take full advantage of his piece-of-shit-comfy-as-fuck human pillow.  

END 

**Author's Note:**

> come weep with me at haganandherman.tumblr.com


End file.
